Hinder - Without You

p/s WATCH THIS & THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

Cluttered with books

start a day with a wisdom of word in mind
aligning our mind
spending our time with our books
*see the caption in the picture






BOOKS and BOOKS and MULTITUDE of TEXT BOOKS. As never ending as it sounds, words have been inscribed in numerous of languages and formats since our ancestors were here. "Why on earth do we have to face text books everyday? Why read text books for exams? Do they even give us any benefits? Why can't i just close my eyes and do the exams?"; these are the question that you might utter when you see such books right ESPECIALLY your text books. How absurd this might sound, have you ever wondered what real benefits and interesting outcomes when you read and study for exams? I know that it might be frustrating at times when reading pages filled with words and are in black and white. Even though it is being printed out in colours and with pictures that were initiated to keep the readers going, a minority class of people still don't appreciate the hard work that has been put to produce such colourful text books that makes people to understand better and score better during exam. I'm not biased or anything BUT guess what? I used to disregard books. Regarding them as useless piece of garbage that waste papers and cut down more trees. I may sound like an Eco friendly person right? Well, at least i don't buy furs or do anything that pollutes the environment. This question may arise in your mind, even if so, IT MAY SOMEHOW still arise, "How on earth then I came to appreciate my school text books isn't it?"

********************************on 2009********************************

during my SPM year, yes! I was scared to death. Well, on the year 2008. I use to slack like a slug. Worst then a slug i presume. Coming back to the main point, I wasted pretty much of my time during my form 4, year 2008. I use to scribble my books like my diary and highlight them for no reason. YES! I can be that lifeless. Not shocking to you i hope.
"Stop scribbling your text books Jesseca. Ai yo yo! JESSSSEEECCAAAA!!!!!!" screamed my friend.
"Why? Anyway, once we are done with it, we are going to sell them or throw away the books right? Who cares? I am so lazy LA!" I replied.
"Then why do you have a text book for? For fun is it. You don't want to study is it? Just leave school. No point staying in school and sleep and going back when school ends right! JUST THROW ALL YOUR TEXTBOOK AWAY AND DON'T NEED TO STUDY" she muttered.
"Owh. If I get pass enough already right?" I answered rudely.
"Well, if you keep up with this attitude. Do you think you will succeed in life? What if you were working now? You still want to keep up with this attitude. Everyone is moving forward and you are just dozing of MENTALLY!" she shouted back.
"I'll get to do something somehow? I won't fail. ALL that matters is that a D will be fine," I fought back.
"Imagine yourself getting straight D's and everyone getting straight A's!" she said with a twitch on her cheeks
********************* I WAS SPEECHLESS******************

Damn she hit me hard on my head. Then i apologize to her for being such a "smart-ass." Then, she taught me how study and value the text book any work books as something precious. From that day onwards, there was this fire of willing to do something that ignited within me. I was hunger for the thirst of knowledge. I was determined to study. I worked hard and smart. That is the fact why i ALWAYS DO MY ASSIGNMENTS right after i get it. I always fear that I will be left behind and everyone will regard me as inferior. I am not a bright student BUT i can admit that I am a hardworking student. My SPM result was fairly good enough as I almost got the same amount of A's compared to the second class. The product of my hard work thus was a rewarding gift BUT i knew that If I ever did worked harder, I wouldn't have come to face such great challenges in life.
Value your TEXT BOOKS, EXAMS, LECTURERS and THE SUBJECT as something very precious like how you value your diamonds and golds. NOTHING could be compared to knowledge as knowledge is a very valuable thing in life. That is why, in order to succeed. We have to study hard, aim high and finish all our work beforehand. Fairly enough, if the people notice your spirit, IMAGINE how wonderful your employer will notice your spirit to in the near future. "Time and tide waits for no man" as the old adage goes, why don't you start working hard now so that life will be much simpler or maybe harder. Depends on what choices we make though.
''Rome was not build in one day" is thus applicable in one's life. In comparison, a successful man didn't come about by chance, a great deal or hardship they had to face. For example, how long did it took for Thomas Edison to create a single light bulb? MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED ATTEMPTS. Have you ever thought of that. Your telephone, Alexandre Graham Bell? Needless of the amount of inventors we know, have we come to know about their past?
Hence, the lesson that we can learn is (oh my gosh. I sound like a teacher) ANYWAY... study hard, work hard and P.L.A.Y. HARD in the end.

"ALL GLORY COMES FROM DARING TO BEGIN" by Eugene Ware

Stuck in my room

a colourful imagination

the light where we instill in our mind




Stuck in my room,
Thinking about tomorrow,
Placing the book upright,
Wondering about how will I turn out.

Trying to sow the seed,
Watering the seed so that it will bloom,
Burning my brain like cigar,
But all well end's well

p/s epic is what I describe it

STRESS is chilling up my spine

trying to absorb all the knowledge i can
i pray that my exams will turn out well
exams are like chess which you can never predict
feel like dying when i flunk my exam. zzz



I shouted for help. Minutes passed and I began to feel dizzy as I swayed like a pendulum. Fortunately, I was lying by a lake as the current of the river flows in a flowy blue satin dress as my hair being disturbed by the rage of the current in the middle of the woods. Never did I thought that life could be tranquil and solemn because in reality, i would have been pulled away by the river if I ever didn't try to fight against the current. Life is not that simple. The EAT, SLEEP & DIE philosophy never did apply or what so ever. Daydreaming about how we want our life to turn out is just a mere illusion and impossible to achieve if it is out of this world. Never put faith in the world is what I thought myself.
"THE WEAK SHALL DIE, THE STRONGEST SHALL LIVE" that's the code for the survival of the fittest. Harsh and cruel yet applicable but not to the extend of being blood guilty. In this dog-eat-dog world, everyone has to fend for themselves in one way or another.
In comparison as the statement above, examination is a reflection of how well a person achieves. Thus, doing our level best is not always what people put our judgement on, the the comparison of achievement between one's ability and art with another is how the world judges. Having this vague point of view in mind is stuck in my head like a parasite or cancer that is very hard to get rid on and it becomes futile.
Having an environment where hopeful people places their reliance and expectation on my shoulder is thus a burdensome one. Not only my parents and other people who expects me to do my best BUT it's I, I am the one who place an aeon's of expectation in myself. Numb with fear, I already knew that each and everyone has their limits, I try to place myself out of the box. Trying to achieve something that not everyone can ever achieve. For my selfishness gave my pride away, there was no turning back to the past even though how much i wanted to turn back the time and erase the "red spots" that I've made. The list was long, but I seemed to have a new perspective of life. Getting hold of myself, trying to score a "flush" in a gamble is the same of how much I want to Ace my exams my flying colours. With pride but not haughtiness, "THE SPIRIT IS STRONG BUT THE SOUL IS WEAK" was what i placed at first place even though it was irrelevant. The stress was just accumulating like a bundled of dry leaves; easy to crack. I wish the dry leaves could just cracked and fly away in to specks of dust. Exam was what I wish to be like the dry leaves.
How hard I tried, my sweat didn't seem to pay off. I wonder why at times, BUT the answers don't seem to get across my mind. At times of giving up in life, I always place my thought in 20 years time of how I wanted a reflection of mine to be. You can thus imagine the excruciating consequences in the regard of slacking one's life as I wasn't born with a "silver spoon." If that's the case, soon the breadwinner of the family will tire out, then who will replace that position? I love my parents till death and words that cannot describe this feeling that was within me. In connection with this, I was eager to study even though my "Mr. Hyde" of me seems to get the bet of me a times.
Exams and hard work is everyone should place first in life beside the superiority position of our GOD and FAMILY. They are in a different league. There is a boundary between doing well and doing the best we can. It differs completely and stress will just build up if I don't study. It creeps in to the soul, every sleepless night I get, the guilty facade i put on. As I focus on what I want to achieve; being a successful person in a godly life. Being a dreamer at times; most of time i presume, i will picture a "Red hot baby FERRARI car" in mind, that sometimes give me inspiration in life to study harder and achieve my level best.
Hence, stress thus have it's pros and cons. It's not always the cons because sometimes, all we need is a wider view of perspective as there is GOOD STRESS and BAD STRESS. Having this mixed feeling in me, the conclusion is.... STRESS MOTIVATES ME TO STUDY. Even though this may seem awkward to people, the only thing that matters is how the fruits of our produce turn out to be in the end of the day.


"If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth" by Henry Wadsworth, Longfellow

(I will blast this song out loud when I'm under stress)


"Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
Just tell him to the left, left, left
Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
We gone and we gone and we gone
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl, you deserve nothing but the best
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl, you need to tell him"

-Leavin' by Jesse Mc Cartney